Seeing the Elephant: God Hates Republicans: He sent hurricanes

God hates Republicans, this I know, Gustav and Hanna told me so. God hates American Christians, this I know, Ike and Josephine told me so. As far as I can tell, God is doing everything he can to disrupt the Republican National Convention and to draw attention away in the hope of ensuring no Republican candidate or the Republican message does not get out. A close examination of history tells us there is no other conclusion: God hates Republicans, God hates Christians and most of all, God hates Christian Republicans.

God has shown us repeatedly that he is willing to use regional destruction to painfully rain his displeasure loudly across America, and maybe the world. After Hurricane Katrina devastated the southern United States, American Christian leader after American Christian leader blamed the storm on their loving God’s anger about abortion and homosexuality.

Rev. Pat Robertson, one of the few people on earth with a direct phone line to God and authority to speak on God’s behalf, relayed to us mere mortals God’s explanation for Katrina, and why he had to kill at least 1,836 people. On September 12, 2005, the great, wise and all knowing Reverend Pat Robertson elegantly laid out God’s reasons.

“You know, it's just amazing, though, that people say the litmus test for [Supreme Court nominee John G.] Roberts [Jr.] is whether or not he supports the wholesale slaughter of unborn children. We have killed over 40 million unborn babies in America. I was reading, yesterday, a book that was very interesting about what God has to say in the Old Testament about those who shed innocent blood. And he used the term that those who do this, "the land will vomit you out." That -- you look at your -- you look at the book of Leviticus and see what it says there. And this author of this said, "well 'vomit out' means you are not able to defend yourself." But have we found we are unable somehow to defend ourselves against some of the attacks that are coming against us, either by terrorists or now by natural disaster [speaking here of Katrina]? Could they be connected in some way? And he goes down the list of the things that God says will cause a nation to lose its possession, and to be vomited out. And the amazing thing is, a judge has now got to say, "I will support the wholesale slaughter of innocent children" in order to get confirmed to the bench. And I am sure Judge Roberts is not going to say any such thing. But nevertheless, that's the litmus test that's being put on, the very thing that could endanger our nation. And it's very interesting. Read the bible, read Leviticus, see what it says there.” [From Joe Brown's article on MediaMatters]

On August 31, 2005, the magnificent, pious, and unashamed servant of the one and only Lord, Jesus Christ, Michael Marcavage, the director of Repent America (a evangelical fundamentalist group to help sinners find the one and only way to God) also got a message directly from God about why God would kill nearly 2,000 people.

"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city. 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge, We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long. May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God."

Katrina was not the only example of God’s love. We can look to the loving act of the California wildfires right after the ruling legalizing gay marriage. Author, respectable and admirable evangelical Ray Comfort checked his God fax machine and told us exactly why California was ablaze.

“At present there are 840 wild-fires that are burning at once in California, destroying many homes. The fires were started by lightning strikes. Guess who’s in charge of the electrical department? These are from thunder storms that have no rain. Guess who gives the rain? You said "while in California it's fair and dry." We are having the worst drought in our recorded history. Last year 1,155 homes were destroyed. … Of course I would never say that fires are punishment for gay marriage, or that floods were a punishment for poor folks in the Midwest. ... Then again, a thinking person will look at what's happening in this nation, and question whether or not we are morally pleasing to God, and wonder if there is a missing link between the two. ... We badly need rain, and God is in charge of rain, and He's in charge (unintended pun) of lightning (see Job 38:22-27), whether we believe that or not.”

It is obvious to everyone who has a direct feed to God that the wildfires in California were absolutely about God’s need to send us a message. Charles Coughlin, prophet of wisdom, bringer of the white light of truth and equal to all those religious leaders mentioned in this article explains why California coughs out the smoke of God’s anger.

"Curiously, this fantastic amount of lightning took place the week after California court legalized gay marriage. ... I'm sure a parade of arrogant atheists, Jews and liberals will insist that it's 'inconceivable' that this fantastic lightning display and record number of fires could be a 'sign from God.' To me, this sort of attitude reminds me of the 'arrogant' and 'unconcerned' nature of the residents of Sodom, who happily co-existed with all sorts of perversity and who repeatedly showed contempt for God and his laws."

God has anointed people to act as mediums of his and they have explained to us that we must consider God’s biblical law when we muse as to why God might choose to smite a region. The region which is attacked probably has done something to insight God’s Auto-Smiter.

Region is not the only consideration though; politics has an equally strong role in percolating God’s vengeance brew. Many of God’s chosen emissaries have told us to consider current politics when we try to figure out why God has chosen to bless us with his holy steam roller.

The bishops of holy truth already have lent to us the knowledge that the Supreme Court of California ruled that prohibiting gay marriage was unconstitutional made God so miffed that he showered California with lightning. The fires were not God’s only statement about politics and he sees no reason to affect only the region directly responsible for redding the face of God.

John Hagee, a reverend of magnificence and insight, received a telegram directly from God describing God’s motivation for bestowing a slow and painful death by drowning of nearly 2,000 people. God had to flood New Orleans because we encouraged Israel’s settlers to leave the Gaza Strip. The New Orleans’ residents had to flee their homes, just as the settlers did.

In this belief, Christians are not alone. Brother’s of the bible, Jews, have leaders who might be foolish enough to believe Jesus isn’t the savior but wise enough to know God’s true meaning of Katrina.

Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Lewin, executive director of the Rabbinic Congress for Peace woke from a dream where God whispered, "Katrina is a consequence of the destruction of [Gaza's] Gush Katif [slate of Jewish communities] with America's urging and encouragement. The U.S. should have discouraged Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon from implementing the Gaza evacuation rather than pushing for it and pressuring Israel into concessions."

We can see many of our wisest men of faith teach us about Katrina, it’s reasons and God’s will through this brief video.

Those amongst us with the most intimate relationship with God have told us that we must consider the region blighted by a natural disaster, the politics of the region and politics not geographically close but in a timely manner. Taking all those things into account, I can only conclude that God hates Republican Christians.

The one true and omnipotent God has told us in the past, through his teachers and bringers of light, to consider region and politics when we examine why he disciplines a place. The Republican National Convention runs this week in St. Paul, Minnesota. Christian Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain, Christian President George Bush and Christian Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin were to speak during the Republican Convention.

The first day of the convention, Hurricane Gustav hit the gulf coast. The Southern United States, especially those hit by Gustav, are some of the most Republican Christians in the world.

During the celebration of their politics, in the region they come from, God sent a hurricane to destroy their homes and distract from the convention. God’s message couldn’t be more clear “It is Christian Republicans I am After.”

God wanted to silence the Christian Republicans and did so by giving media outlets a reason to ignore the Christian Republicans, hurricanes. The media, the spreaders of ideas, abandoned the Christian Republicans to leave their voices echoing in their own ears.

Realizing the stubborn or ignoramus nature of Christian Republicans, God has lined up an entire group of hurricanes, Hanna, Ike and Josephine, to punish the Christian Republicans. Hanna, Ike and Josephine are supposed to hit all of the Southern United States. They will then leave the coastal states and spray land locked Southern states with rain. When God has finished with the southern states, he will punish the Midwest with tornados caused by the same storms.

The Midwest, or the “Bible Belt” of America will spin in the punishment of God’s numerous tornados. The Midwest is the South’s equal when it comes to Christian Republican culture and population.

We will have to ask the Christian Republicans why they are being punished because they hold the key to God’s door. Let us ponder why God had to send hurricanes to punish the Christian Republicans if they have been so obedient to God’s will.

Or, just this once, is there no God? Are Gustav, Hanna, Ike and Josephine just natural tragedies that no person, no government, no policy or region could prevent?

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