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Friday, November 25, 2011
Ant Invaders - A Natural Army?
Ants are tiny foreign invaders who rely on the hammer of military formations to enter our homes and consume our precious table scraps. If ants abandoned their military first policy, would we be as bothered by their visits to carry off our leftovers, or is their goose-stepping lines of workers what really ticks us off. Ants march into our homes like platoons of plundering, starving soldiers. They take our culinary treasure, consume our crumbs and pillage our pantries. Undeterred by geography or gravity they disregard our homestead boundaries, pouring over our scraps, entering at will in highly organized legions to overtake our kitchen work spaces.
Anyone who lives near dirt knows the dread of finding one ant scout. The insect explorer unto itself (as long as it is not one of the more vicious forms of ant, such as carpenter or fire ant) is as harmless as they are small. It is their meaning that most people take offense to. One itty-bitty, tiny-weeny ant will follow their scent track back to the colony and inform every ant they encounter along the way and inside of the bounty waiting on a counter or in a garbage can. Together, following the battle plan map of scent markings, they trudge along their way, in perfect rows and seemingly unfettered by physics, along the path set by the scout to consume, conquer or carry any speck of food that is less that 200 percent of their body weight.
Ants have long been a paramilitary antagonist. Their almost unnatural militarism has resonated so fundamentally, we teach our younguns to recognize the characteristics of these critters of combat. How many children have learned the almost hypnotic "The Ants Go Marching." My sister and I used to sing "The ants go marching one by one. Hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching one by one. Hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching one by one. The little one stops to suck his thumb...and they all go marching down to the ground, to get out of the rain. Bum...Bum...Bum." We were indoctrinating ourselves, training our brains to instinctively react to future brigades of bugs. Aside from the bit of anthropomorphizing the "little one", the rhyme offers more than a bit of truth about the martial nature of these well aligned critters.
Ants damage their reputation by using armed forces tactics when guerrilla warfare would be of a bigger benefit. Unfortunately for these well trained insect operatives and the people who loathe them, it will be several hundred million generations before ants evolved primate military strategy.
Imagine for a moment, tiny little harmless bugs scampering quickly across the floor, waiting in the dark until you've turned away to grab a morsel and shying away before you turn back. Would you miss the crumbs? If it did not mean a troop of ants would follow, I theorize the average kitchen defender who saw an ant would find the compulsion hunt it down and smash it with their thumb considerably lessened.
Since diplomacy probably will not be an evolutionary adaptation of ants anytime soon, we have to fend off the hoards of invaders. We must stand at the ready for the first ant, the scout, the messenger of crumb topography and end the insect incursion before it begins. It is a shame such aggression is necessary because if they did not act like a full on military invasion, they wouldn't bother me as much.
Anyone who lives near dirt knows the dread of finding one ant scout. The insect explorer unto itself (as long as it is not one of the more vicious forms of ant, such as carpenter or fire ant) is as harmless as they are small. It is their meaning that most people take offense to. One itty-bitty, tiny-weeny ant will follow their scent track back to the colony and inform every ant they encounter along the way and inside of the bounty waiting on a counter or in a garbage can. Together, following the battle plan map of scent markings, they trudge along their way, in perfect rows and seemingly unfettered by physics, along the path set by the scout to consume, conquer or carry any speck of food that is less that 200 percent of their body weight.
Ants have long been a paramilitary antagonist. Their almost unnatural militarism has resonated so fundamentally, we teach our younguns to recognize the characteristics of these critters of combat. How many children have learned the almost hypnotic "The Ants Go Marching." My sister and I used to sing "The ants go marching one by one. Hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching one by one. Hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching one by one. The little one stops to suck his thumb...and they all go marching down to the ground, to get out of the rain. Bum...Bum...Bum." We were indoctrinating ourselves, training our brains to instinctively react to future brigades of bugs. Aside from the bit of anthropomorphizing the "little one", the rhyme offers more than a bit of truth about the martial nature of these well aligned critters.
Ants damage their reputation by using armed forces tactics when guerrilla warfare would be of a bigger benefit. Unfortunately for these well trained insect operatives and the people who loathe them, it will be several hundred million generations before ants evolved primate military strategy.
Imagine for a moment, tiny little harmless bugs scampering quickly across the floor, waiting in the dark until you've turned away to grab a morsel and shying away before you turn back. Would you miss the crumbs? If it did not mean a troop of ants would follow, I theorize the average kitchen defender who saw an ant would find the compulsion hunt it down and smash it with their thumb considerably lessened.
Since diplomacy probably will not be an evolutionary adaptation of ants anytime soon, we have to fend off the hoards of invaders. We must stand at the ready for the first ant, the scout, the messenger of crumb topography and end the insect incursion before it begins. It is a shame such aggression is necessary because if they did not act like a full on military invasion, they wouldn't bother me as much.
My Vagina First: I Vote for My Vagina Every Time
For this election, I’ll be putting my vagina before anyone else’s, even if that means keeping another vagina from the Vice President position. Protecting my vagina from policy and political invaders is always a top priority; this election is no exception. I will do all that is necessary to protect my vagina from those who would take away my rights by influencing the leanings of the supreme court, directly through policy and legislation as they chip away at my vagina’s rights. Election time brings average citizens to the front line of the Great Vaginal War between Axis of Vagina Haters and the Vaginal Allies. The Axis of Vagina Haters (Christian Fundamentalist Republicans, specifically Palin) want nothing more than to erode the Vaginal Allies’ rights to protect all vaginas from economic ruin, social devastation and trap children with parents who have parental responsibilities they cannot endure or that they do not want. The Great Vaginal War has divided the American fairer sex as the Civil War once separated brothers. This war is not fought in blood, it is fought in ink. Legislation, policy, and the courts have been, and during this election, will be, the main battleground for women in America.
During World War Two, there was a bloody battle in Stalingrad between Germany and the USSR. The two armies fought viciously for possession of one particular hill, Mamayev Kurgan, the highest point in the area of Stalingrad. Unrelenting, the USSR finally won the hill and the battle, surrounding the Nazi’s most prestigious battalion, and, after trying to get them to surrender, mowing them down. There was unbelievable bloodshed, with the Russians losing more in the battle of Stalingrad then the rest of the countries in World War Two lost during the entire war.
The generals of the Great Vaginal War know that in order to ensure the safety of a woman’s vagina or to destroy her sense of security, you have to conquer the modern American Mamayev Kurgan; the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court will be the setting of the major battles of our time. From the vantage point of the courts, all political views are seen and policy skirmishes are easily swayed from one side to another. The side that holds the Supreme Court ground does not have to worry about public protest or political opponents. The side that captures the Supreme Court holds the power of policy for many years, potentially decades. In order to secure the courts, each side will desperately try to elect the person who appoints the Supreme Court Judges; the president.
The president does have the power to appoint Supreme Court Judges, but he also has the power of the first word in legislation and the power to create law through executive order. President George Bush signed executive orders meant to hamper the Vaginal Allies, dealing them direct blows and reclaiming hard fought ground. Single handedly, he increased the syphilis rate in all vaginas in America, refused to allow teachers to teach women how to protect their vaginas, economically trapped more teenaged women, and didn’t allow the teaching of men lessons on vaginal respect, all by issuing an executive order. Don’t forget that the president can veto legislation that comes up from the Congress that affects vaginas everywhere. The power of the presidential office to sway the Great Vaginal War, to either side, cannot even be measured.
Vagina Allies fight inflexibly against the Axis of Vagina Haters. Both sides know the stakes, both ready to pounce at the first glimmer of weakness from the other. I will not turn coat on the Vagina Allies just because the Axis of Vagina Haters shows another one off. Now and forever, I put my vagina first.
First Published: Sep 25, 2008
Photo Credits:
http://bp0.blogger.com/_WUyCyzzdkGI/Rv1ThccUuTI/AAAAAAAAAeo/s
Register One Campaign
Voting is one of the few priceless assets we will ever own. Many eligible American citizens have not even registered to vote. Even if they decide to seize their power, if they have not registered, they may be left voiceless. In all states, swing state or not, the importance of voters cannot be understated.
Think of voting as a powerful weapon at the disposal of a registered voter. Every election, that weapon can be wielded any way the balloter chooses. She can use it against one candidate or in service of another. He can support a cause or choose to try to kill it. A voter can even choose to holster their weapon if they choose not to use it during an election. The registered voter has a choice.
An eligible citizen who chooses not to register has left themselves unprotected and vulnerable. In the event a dire need arises, where the stakes are clear, the voter must hope that those who have armed themselves with the power of the vote will protect them. They have chosen not to grasp the power that is their right of citizenship and have allowed the armed population to steer the path of their lives.
I believe armed citizens have a responsibility to pony up the goods and get armaments for their fellow citizens. We should not try to raise a voting army, just one other well equipped citizen. Registering one person to vote can be our part to ensure that we have a society able to protect itself from corporate raiders, political plundering and unintentional disaster. 
Registering one person is not a full military operation. Weapon requisition (registration) forms can be found at any post office or library. Next time a letter needs a stamp, pick up a few forms and keep them in the glove box, backpack, purse or trunk. One can even request their armaments online (online registration). Don’t forget the pen and to bookmark the online registration site on your computer. http://www.declareyourself.com/
The next step is to talk about the election, voting or citizenship. The idea that it is impolite to talk about politics should go out the window for those committed to the positive direction of the country. Find a way to bring it up, especially around those who are probably not registered to vote.
Remind people they have power and should use it. One person just might say “I have not requested to be armed yet,” or “I’m not registered.” Instead of just saying, “You must register,” you say, “I can register you right now.” Whip out the registration form and pen or open up the bookmarked site and put it in their hands. Help them through boot camp (the registration form), and either make sure they put the form in the mail or do it for them because if the request doesn’t go out, they don’t have the power. Make sure they leave with enough registration forms for all of their family members or friends who are currently unarmed.
Ask the person you registered to join the Register One Campaign. Give them one extra registration form and tell them where to get more, so they can arm other eligible Americans.
If you aren’t already packing political heat, the one you register should be you!
Being a great general is not necessary because you don’t have to motivate the unarmed masses. Without much effort, a well prepared and caring person can empower one person to act in their best interest by taking up arms through registering to vote. Be the armory!
http://www.declareyourself.com/
Photo Credit: http://willamettevalleynorml.org/gallery/USam_VoteL.jpg
Cannot Buy a Vote Not for Sale
Corporations spend millions of dollars to support candidates who are likely to cooperate politically in the future. Candidates, in turn, spend those millions to get the attention of voters. They hope to convince the voter, in 30-second sound bites, with mailers and online videos, the balloter’s interests are best served if that candidate is elected. Politicians and corporations are willing to spend those millions to buy votes because earning them legitimately is prohibitively expensive or impossible. Try as they might, they can’t buy a vote that is not for sale. It is hard not to notice the electoral season; mailboxes are suddenly full of political junk mail, the television shows are now interrupted by commercials for candidates, and water cooler talk about office gossip subsides, replaced by political banter. Radio news talk and the cable talking heads stop talking about the current pop fascination and stupid congressional moves. The rules for civilized conversation are suspended while we all try to make our decisions and convince others to follow suit. Coffee shop discussions buzz jittery political discussions. The long forgotten Electoral College rules are revisited. We are almost completely focused on the presidential election for two months.
The constant jibber-jabber does little to motivate citizens to cast their vote. The American population can hardly be bothered to register, let alone cast a vote. When they vote, they can nary be bothered to research the candidate whose box they check. The average American voters rely heavily on the marketing materials produced to sway their vote. Even though most Americans will never see a dollar of the millions corporations have spent to buy t
heir vote, they happily sell their votes for the cost of their apathy.
During the 2004 presidential election between President George W. Bush and Senator John Kerry, only fifty five percent of those people who are registered to vote voted in the presidential election. The election was extremely close, incumbent President Bush winning with 50.8%, just a hair over half. That means less than thirty percent of the registered voting population decided the direction of the entire country. Re-elected President Bush called his win a “mandate” from the American people.
The 2004 election was made all the more infuriating in light of the lessons of the 2000 election. Then Governor of Texas George W. Bush won against then Vice President Al Gore by five Electoral College votes, even though he lost the popular vote by less than one percent. The vote was so close; each vote in one county in Florida was examined closely by teams of examiners because each vote had the power to swing the election in favor of one candidate or the other. In twelve states the margin of win for either candidate was less than 5%. There has never been such a powerful example of the value of just one vote, and yet, instead of empowering the American public, it barely responded. Half of the registered American voters couldn’t be bothered to take three minutes of their time to stop by their polling place in 2004; a gob-smacking example of voter apathy and disenfranchisement.
The apathy of the non-voting public is only the most extreme version of the apathy on which corporations and politicians rely. During the 2000 and 2004 elections, the average voter learned most of what they know about the politicians they voted for through commercials and talk in the media. The majority of American voters sold their vote because they couldn’t be bothered to cut out a little TV time and spend a couple of hours before they voted so they could research their candidates.
The less voters research a candidate, the better it is for both the candidate and the special interests that supports them. For example: a politician says he wants to stop relying on foreign oil. (For the purposes of this example, let’s assume the politician isn’t lying.) A reasonable voter might interpret that statement to mean the candidate is interested in developing alternative fuels or finding green alternatives to energy production. Mr. Apathetic Voter does not take the time to research the candidate’s contributors, and will be left with only their interpretation of the candidate’s statement, and if they say they believe in green alternatives, they will be encouraged by the statement. Ms. Attentive Voter takes the time to research who gave the politician money, which is a matter of public record and is easy to obtain. She learns that the energy company trying to drill offshore or in the Alaskan wilderness donated a significant amount of money to the campaign. An even savvier voter could spend three minutes online and find the voting record of that candidate and might learn that they’ve voted against alternative energy development. Both voters are interested in alternative fuels and environmental issues, but Ms. Attentive Voter’s casts her vote for the candidate who represents her best and Mr. Apathetic Voter votes against his own interest and desires.
Mr. Apathetic Voter has sold his vote for the cost of ten minutes research, a lower cost would be hard to imagine. Staying informed does require attention but it isn’t asking too much of a citizen of a democracy. Corporations and politicians bet that a citizen will let the worries of the day, the latest sitcom episode or other day-to-day concerns to come before considering the best interest of themselves and their family. Uninformed voters are willing to sell their votes for about the cost of the cup of coffee they drink each day, a value for a corporation and candidate.
I would venture to guess that the average American would turn down a six dollar cash bribe for their vote. In the 2004 presidential election George W. Bush spent $5.92 per vote, John Kerry spent $5.52. That is less than the toll to cross the Golden Gate Bridge, two gallons of gasoline, a hamburger, a manicure, six songs on iTunes, going to a matinee movie, a new tube of lipstick, or a can of antifungal foot spray. A direct bribe of $6 would be a slap in the face insult but most voters are willing to sell their vote for little more than a Lincoln by committing to their political apathy.
We profess to love the freedoms democracy allows, but we allow freedom to degrade into atrophy by neglecting to exercise our most fundamental civil right: voting. A candidate should have to work for a vote, but most of us do not force them to pony up the goods to earn our selection. Mr. Apathetic Voter and all his compatriots put their votes up for sale and candidates happily snap those votes up at bargain prices. We can’t complain that American politicians buy votes when our citizens prefer to sell them than treat them as one of the few priceless asset we’re issued. There is a solution to the wholesale voter buyoff in America. It rests in the hands of every person over age 18 in the United States and it is simple. Register to vote. Don’t put a vote up for sale. If a vote is not for sale, it cannot be bought.
Who donated to who? http://www.opensecrets.org/
Register to vote http://www.declareyourself.com/
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0781453.html
http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/voting.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_2004
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/16/is-it-smarter-to-sell-your-vote-or-to-cast-it/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_2000#The_general_election_campaign
Photo Credits:
Voting for dummies
http://www.jardmail.co.uk/attachments/voting.jpg
Don’t forget to vote
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/BEASTMARIO/dont_forget_to_vote_magnet.jpg
Vote hat pin flag
http://www.hamburg.mi.us/clerk/images/vote-graphic.png
vote pin
First Published: September 13, 2008
Sarah Palin: How McCain Got His Groove Back
Sarah Palin, the Republican governor of Alaska, was a phenomenal choice for John McCain’s presidential running mate. She gave them the one thing the campaign needed: their base. Sarah Palin is young, good looking, charming, well spoken, virtually unknown on the national stage, a fundamentalist Christian and a hard line conservative, both socially and financially. She does not believe abortion should be available to anyone for any reason. She is pro-censorship, pro-book banning, is strongly anti-contraceptives, and believes strongly in the Christian dogma on the subjects of sex and reproduction. She has a reputation for going after oil companies. As with many Christian fundamentalists, she believes the earth is only 6,000 years old because she believes in the literal truth of the bible. Oh yeah, and she’s a woman. She is yin to McCain’s yang.
Evangelical Christians have resisted dipping their toes into the McCain for President pool. His perceived moderate stance on a number of social issues that are important to conservatives have made his campaign fearful that evangelicals would not vote at all in November. They were nearly certain there was no way the evangelicals would motivate the droves of voters they have in the past.
They had to find a conservative who was fundamentalist and uncompromising enough to ease the evangelicals into the pool. The vice presidential candidate had to have a record of staunch conservatism but not so much of a record they could be attacked on specific decisions. A long term congressman or famous conservative governor would have a voting record that could be picked apart. Palin fits the bill perfectly. Her brief time as governor has allowed her enough time to show her conservative stripes but not enough time to be tied to many decisions, let alone controversial ones.
By picking a person who is virtually unknown nationally, the media, the average voter and other politicians are left scampering to find any information on Palin. Excited attention is drawn to Governor Palin as everyone tries to dig up any stories on her personally, her record, her experiences, her religion, and her family. The buzz about John McCain rises to a roar as they discuss Palin and the choice to make Palin his VP.
Sarah Palin follows the conservative evangelical fundamentalism as closely as possible. Governor Palin is a professed lover and follower of Jesus. She believes creationism should be taught in science class, abstinence education should be the only lesson, in all cases; even in cases of rape or incest abortion should be banned, and contraception is not for schools to discuss. She does not believe in climate change. Palin supports a ban on gay marriage. She is anti-gun control. Palin encourages the complete tapping of Alaska’s resources. She sees value in hunting for sport, and encourages aerial hunting of wolves and bears. She’s a conservative evangelical fundamentalist poster girl.
If the GOP put another old rich white man on the ticket, it would miss the opportunity to revamp their image. In order to capitalize on the disenfranchised Hillaryites and the republican women tired of being offered no choice other than men, the GOP took the opportunity to endear itself to women. I don’t think the Hillaryites were the prime target, but why miss the opportunity to reach a few of them given the choice?
John McCain is in his 70’s, and though youthful for his age, still looks like an old man, leading further to the idea that his ideas are stale, and needing a revamp, even though some find comfort in his experience. The GOP had to shed the “old, rich, white guy” image to compete for the under 60 years old middle class vote that Oboma’s call for change had started to reach. Putting a young, idealistic, beautiful, charming woman known for taking on the “old boys club” on the ticket turned the heat up on the Democrats and encouraged the base to take the dive into the pool.
Sarah Palin’s reputation for taking on the boys club of the oil companies in Alaska can be pitched as proof that the GOP is no longer in the pocket of oil companies. Even though Palin openly advocates for a pipeline in Alaska, her direct attack on oil companies can be seen as a fearless face to face confrontation, in no way endearing her, or by association, McCain. If oil companies don’t own the behavior of the candidates, the candidates are more likely to be seen as willing to do something about the high gasoline costs, even if it requires a show down between oil companies and American government.
There was a little hope HIllaryites would jump ship to follow the vagina, but the truth is, Sarah Palin wouldn’t attract any militant Hillary Clinton supporters and the GOP knows it. The McCain campaign is pandering to the evangelicals and hopes to blow out the musk of oldness, sameness, and frowziness from his campaign by breathing in Palin’s freshness. For those who swing to the red right, she makes them feel jazzed to vote, and gives the campaign the booster shot it needed. Ultra-right wing, evangelical, neo-con republican voters will be excited to jump head first into the Palin Pool.
First Published: September 8, 2008
God Hates Republicans: He sent hurricanes
God hates Republicans, this I know, Gustav and Hanna told me so. God hates American Christians, this I know, Ike and Josephine told me so. As far as I can tell, God is doing everything he can to disrupt the Republican National Convention and to draw attention away in the hope of ensuring no Republican candidate or the Republican message does not get out. A close examination of history tells us there is no other conclusion: God hates Republicans, God hates Christians and most of all, God hates Christian Republicans.
God has shown us repeatedly that he is willing to use regional destruction to painfully rain his displeasure loudly across America, and maybe the world. After Hurricane Katrina devastated the southern United States, American Christian leader after American Christian leader blamed the storm on their loving God’s anger about abortion and homosexuality.
Rev. Pat Robertson, one of the few people on earth with a direct phone line to God and authority to speak on God’s behalf, relayed to us mere mortals God’s explanation for Katrina, and why he had to kill at least 1,836 people. On September 12, 2005, the great, wise and all knowing Reverend Pat Robertson elegantly laid out God’s reasons.
“You know, it's just amazing, though, that people say the litmus test for [Supreme Court nominee John G.] Roberts [Jr.] is whether or not he supports the wholesale slaughter of unborn children. We have killed over 40 million unborn babies in America. I was reading, yesterday, a book that was very interesting about what God has to say in the Old Testament about those who shed innocent blood. And he used the term that those who do this, "the land will vomit you out." That -- you look at your -- you look at the book of Leviticus and see what it says there. And this author of this said, "well 'vomit out' means you are not able to defend yourself." But have we found we are unable somehow to defend ourselves against some of the attacks that are coming against us, either by terrorists or now by natural disaster [speaking here of Katrina]? Could they be connected in some way? And he goes down the list of the things that God says will cause a nation to lose its possession, and to be vomited out. And the amazing thing is, a judge has now got to say, "I will support the wholesale slaughter of innocent children" in order to get confirmed to the bench. And I am sure Judge Roberts is not going to say any such thing. But nevertheless, that's the litmus test that's being put on, the very thing that could endanger our nation. And it's very interesting. Read the bible, read Leviticus, see what it says there.” [From Joe Brown's article on MediaMatters]
On August 31, 2005, the magnificent, pious, and unashamed servant of the one and only Lord, Jesus Christ, Michael Marcavage, the director of Repent America (a evangelical fundamentalist group to help sinners find the one and only way to God) also got a message directly from God about why God would kill nearly 2,000 people.
"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city. 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge, We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long. May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God."
Katrina was not the only example of God’s love. We can look to the loving act of the California wildfires right after the ruling legalizing gay marriage. Author, respectable and admirable evangelical Ray Comfort checked his God fax machine and told us exactly why California was ablaze.
“At present there are 840 wild-fires that are burning at once in California, destroying many homes. The fires were started by lightning strikes. Guess who’s in charge of the electrical department? These are from thunder storms that have no rain. Guess who gives the rain? You said "while in California it's fair and dry." We are having the worst drought in our recorded history. Last year 1,155 homes were destroyed. … Of course I would never say that fires are punishment for gay marriage, or that floods were a punishment for poor folks in the Midwest. ... Then again, a thinking person will look at what's happening in this nation, and question whether or not we are morally pleasing to God, and wonder if there is a missing link between the two. ... We badly need rain, and God is in charge of rain, and He's in charge (unintended pun) of lightning (see Job 38:22-27), whether we believe that or not.”
It is obvious to everyone who has a direct feed to God that the wildfires in California were absolutely about God’s need to send us a message. Charles Coughlin, prophet of wisdom, bringer of the white light of truth and equal to all those religious leaders mentioned in this article explains why California coughs out the smoke of God’s anger.
"Curiously, this fantastic amount of lightning took place the week after California court legalized gay marriage. ... I'm sure a parade of arrogant atheists, Jews and liberals will insist that it's 'inconceivable' that this fantastic lightning display and record number of fires could be a 'sign from God.' To me, this sort of attitude reminds me of the 'arrogant' and 'unconcerned' nature of the residents of Sodom, who happily co-existed with all sorts of perversity and who repeatedly showed contempt for God and his laws."
God has anointed people to act as mediums of his and they have explained to us that we must consider God’s biblical law when we muse as to why God might choose to smite a region. The region which is attacked probably has done something to insight God’s Auto-Smiter.
Region is not the only consideration though; politics has an equally strong role in percolating God’s vengeance brew. Many of God’s chosen emissaries have told us to consider current politics when we try to figure out why God has chosen to bless us with his holy steam roller.
The bishops of holy truth already have lent to us the knowledge that the Supreme Court of California ruled that prohibiting gay marriage was unconstitutional made God so miffed that he showered California with lightning. The fires were not God’s only statement about politics and he sees no reason to affect only the region directly responsible for redding the face of God.
John Hagee, a reverend of magnificence and insight, received a telegram directly from God describing God’s motivation for bestowing a slow and painful death by drowning of nearly 2,000 people. God had to flood New Orleans because we encouraged Israel’s settlers to leave the Gaza Strip. The New Orleans’ residents had to flee their homes, just as the settlers did.
In this belief, Christians are not alone. Brother’s of the bible, Jews, have leaders who might be foolish enough to believe Jesus isn’t the savior but wise enough to know God’s true meaning of Katrina.
Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Lewin, executive director of the Rabbinic Congress for Peace woke from a dream where God whispered, "Katrina is a consequence of the destruction of [Gaza's] Gush Katif [slate of Jewish communities] with America's urging and encouragement. The U.S. should have discouraged Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon from implementing the Gaza evacuation rather than pushing for it and pressuring Israel into concessions."
We can see many of our wisest men of faith teach us about Katrina, it’s reasons and God’s will through this brief video.
Those amongst us with the most intimate relationship with God have told us that we must consider the region blighted by a natural disaster, the politics of the region and politics not geographically close but in a timely manner. Taking all those things into account, I can only conclude that God hates Republican Christians.
The one true and omnipotent God has told us in the past, through his teachers and bringers of light, to consider region and politics when we examine why he disciplines a place. The Republican National Convention runs this week in St. Paul, Minnesota. Christian Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain, Christian President George Bush and Christian Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin were to speak during the Republican Convention.
The first day of the convention, Hurricane Gustav hit the gulf coast. The Southern United States, especially those hit by Gustav, are some of the most Republican Christians in the world.
During the celebration of their politics, in the region they come from, God sent a hurricane to destroy their homes and distract from the convention. God’s message couldn’t be more clear “It is Christian Republicans I am After.”
God wanted to silence the Christian Republicans and did so by giving media outlets a reason to ignore the Christian Republicans, hurricanes. The media, the spreaders of ideas, abandoned the Christian Republicans to leave their voices echoing in their own ears.
Realizing the stubborn or ignoramus nature of Christian Republicans, God has lined up an entire group of hurricanes, Hanna, Ike and Josephine, to punish the Christian Republicans. Hanna, Ike and Josephine are supposed to hit all of the Southern United States. They will then leave the coastal states and spray land locked Southern states with rain. When God has finished with the southern states, he will punish the Midwest with tornados caused by the same storms.
The Midwest, or the “Bible Belt” of America will spin in the punishment of God’s numerous tornados. The Midwest is the South’s equal when it comes to Christian Republican culture and population.
We will have to ask the Christian Republicans why they are being punished because they hold the key to God’s door. Let us ponder why God had to send hurricanes to punish the Christian Republicans if they have been so obedient to God’s will.
Or, just this once, is there no God? Are Gustav, Hanna, Ike and Josephine just natural tragedies that no person, no government, no policy or region could prevent?
Links
http://www.repentamerica.com/aboutus.html
http://www.repentamerica.com/pr_hurricanekatrina.html
http://www.whitecivilrights.com/record-lightning-storm-hits-california-following-legalized-gay-marriage_1240.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Katrina
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46178
http://mediamatters.org/items/200509130004
http://www.usatoday.com/life/graphics/natural_disasters/flash.htm
http://www.repentamerica.com/pr_hurricanekatrina.html
http://www.whitecivilrights.com/record-lightning-storm-hits-california-following-legalized-gay-marriage_1240.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Katrina
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46178
http://mediamatters.org/items/200509130004
http://www.usatoday.com/life/graphics/natural_disasters/flash.htm
First Published: September 4, 2008
Zombie Attack Diet
When I watch movies I often find myself trying to figure out how the lessons of the stories apply to my life. Idiocracy gave me the only reason to have children that I ever pondered. The Princess Bride taught me not to take life so seriously and to see brilliance in silliness. Beyond the Gates reinforced the need to act as a human being when dealing with Africa and made me ashamed of my country. King of Kong reminded me not to take seriously things that are supposed to be fun. Most surprising to me was the lesson I learned from 28 Days Later; go on a diet.
My love of zombie movies has made me something of an aficionado of zombie attack survival techniques. Almost all zombie survival techniques require a high level of physical fitness. If a non-zombie can’t run, bicycle, use a hand weapon and keep up their stamina, they’re dead. In the event of a zombie attack today, I’ll be one of the first attempting to eat brains.
Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead is considered by many zombiephiles to be the expert in the area of survival during a zombie attack. Brooks suggests ditching the car for a bicycle. A bicycle does not require gasoline, doesn’t alert suspicion because it’s quiet, and if faced with road hazards, it is easy to carry and continue moving. Brooks also suggests leaving your machine gun at home and arming yourself with knives. Guns are too loud and require ammunition. Knowing how to use a knife and being able to ride a bicycle quickly enough to get away from a zombie require both physical stamina and mobility.
Bert DiVietri and Andrew Marshall started the Zombie Survival Association (ZSA) teach the best ways to survive an undead outbreak. Their video lessons teach which weapons are most effective, choosing the smartest weapons for zombie situations, and considering transportation when making a break for it. Almost all of the solutions they offer require a person to be fit enough to run, wield a weapon, and fight.
Most survivalists agree that cold weather deters zombies so finding a mountainous region can be another key to survival. Heading to the mountains on a bicycle requires monumental amounts of athleticism and fortitude.
Both slow and quick-moving zombies are extremely dangerous, and if you are caught at the beginning of an outbreak, and you don’t have a bike or a car, it will be absolutely essential that anyone who wants to survive be able to run as fast and long as it is possible. If that person has children, it may be necessary for that person to carry their children while they run. In the event that they are making a run for it as part of a plan, rations would need to be carried on their back.
Aside from sheer will to live, physical prowess would be a huge deciding factor in survival. It is obvious fatties will have a harder time surviving because they can’t run, bicycle, handle a knife or blunt object for long enough to come out the winner. I admit, in my current physical shape, I would be turned to a zombie in the first wave of attacks. I am unwilling to die in such an undignified manner so it is now my goal to get in prime physical shape, just in case. Will you join me?
http://www.monkeysee.com/play/3165-how-to-survive-a-zombie-attack
Zombie Survival Association
Photo Credit: http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/ice-cream-zombie.jpg
http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1572999/20071029/story.jhtml
Bert DiVietri & Andrew Marshall www.expertvillage.com http://www.expertvillage.com/video-series/4074_zombie-attack.htm
Lee LeFever www.monkeysee.com www.commoncraft.com
http://www.ehow.com/how_2290468_survive-zombie-attack.html
http://www.wikihowl.com/zombieattack.html
http://www.geekologie.com/2007/10/emergency_zombie_kit_is_a_must.php
Ted Talk Conversations: Genetic Mappings
TED (Technology Entertainment Design) is a conference that brings the best minds in different areas together to discuss wide ranging topics , called TED Talks. TED Talks expect the viewer to be smart enough to learn, interested enough to pay attention, but not versed in the subject discussed, so the talks are easy to understand, but challenging to the mind. Most TED Talks are less than half an hour long and fun to watch. In order to participate in discussions about TED Talks you must watch the topic TED Talk. My hope is to open a door of discussion with people who have long considered these topics or who have never considered them before. Feel free to bring up your own ideas on this talk.
TED Talk: Building a Family Tree for All Humanity
Speaker: Spencer Wells
Spencer Wells studies diversity of human beings all over the world. The field researchers involved with Wells’ studies have taken DNA samples from people all over the world. They wanted to make a genetic family tree. They found a genetic Adam and Eve, from Africa.
The results confirmed a long standing anthropological belief that we all wandered from Africa to different parts of the world. What they didn’t expect was how recently it happened. The African man in Africa we all split from was in Africa only 6,000 years ago.
At the end of the talk, Spencer Wells asks for your participation in ongoing study of geneography by sending our DNA samples for study.
Watch the talk here http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/spencer_wells_is_building_a_family_tree_for_all_humanity.html
Spencer Wells’ TED Talk has serious implications on the modern world. It challenges old ideas about race differences. Wells’ results may shorten the psychological gap of differences between groups of people by establishing a common beginning. This new genetic understanding can make the skill of interrelation a bit easier because people have a connection, if only in the biological sense.
The interrelation and gap ideas brought up two questions for me.
Does the understanding of geneographics (The study of gene or genetics as it relates to geography and migration or through time) hold the key to ending racism or is racism based on such illogical beliefs so the use of logic will not sway racists from their beliefs?
Do the results of these geneographic studies make the economic, social, political, military and emotional investment in Africa feel more urgent and necessary to people outside of Africa? Why?
www.nationalgeographic.com/genographic
http://atheistnexus.org/group/tedtalkdiscussions
That Hummer is Flipping You Off
It should piss off the average person when they see a Hummer on the road because the driver of that Hummer is flipping off the rest of us. Unconcerned by the gas prices everyone else pays so they can have their penis-enlarging toy which sucks gas like Jenna Jameson, they sit in traffic and drive on city streets as shamelessly as if they were driving a Geo Metro. The dinky-dicked, undaunted by the fact we have to pay up our rectum to repair roads often traveled by large cars, plow their weight and huge tires across public roads, damaging them. So self absorbed in their image, and consumed by their miniscule cockitute, they are callously uncaring about the fact that if they were to hit a small, older car the driver would certainly die. Small and flaccid couldn’t care less about the air we breathe, he’ll spew emissions unrelentingly. It should offend the most temperate of people when a Hummer is seen on the road. The Hummer driver is making profane gestures by driving that testament to genital minimalism.
Many people argue that a wee wee-wee should be allowed to drive any car they want as long as they can afford it. That would be fine if petroleum were a renewable resource but it is not. It also shows a lack of understanding of supply and demand. When the demand rises but the supply does not rise, the cost goes up. Every gallon one person uses takes away from the pot, making the cost more expensive. When Hummers, and other uselessly large cars and trucks for that matter, enter the picture, even on a small scale, they affect the cost of the resource they use the most of, gasoline.
The Hummer line’s most fuel efficient vehicle gets a whopping 18 miles to the gallon, as reported by www.feuleconomy.gov. Every time a Hummer hits the road they are raising the demand side of the equation so greatly that there is no way for supply to keep up with the demand. Mr. Pinky-Winky’s Hummer drives the cost of gas up for everyone because we all pool from the same non-renewable source. So while they are having fun running over their wives and children, we are paying more for it.
I would venture to guess, though it is unsubstantiated, that most of Midget Johnsons who drive Hummers favor low taxes and minimal government. We might be able to get one step closer to that goal if Mini-Members were responsible for their own costs, but we share those costs and there has to be a way to pay for the damage caused to roads and to the environment.
With each pound of vehicle, roads get more worn down. The increase in side of vehicles has made road repairs for more expensive. We pay for road repair through taxes, specifically how is different from state to state. The One Eyed Weasel Enlarger, or Hummer, causes far more damage to roads than a car of average size. Yet Oh-My-Stars-Is-That-a-Clitoris-Where-Your-Skin-Flute-Should-Be believes his taxes should be lower even though he drives the cost of upkeep of public infrastructure up.
The cost of air, water and ground pollution caused by Hummers will also be shared by all of us. The emissions coming off the back of the Penis Pump is astronomical by modern automobile standards. So while Tiny Tool may be able to afford the gas in his tank, he doesn’t foot the bill for global climate change, the damage from storms, increased cancer rates, exposure to carcinogens, and ozone depletion. Ghirkin’s unbelievably reckless behavior shows such little more concern for the people they share their planet with; those people might as well be cockroaches.
In the event of a crash with a smaller car, the Hummer will surely demolish the car. It is the automobile equivalent of having a motion-censored bazooka protecting property in a neighborhood with children. Imagine if you will the poor innocent little Camry just driving down the road, holding a mother, father and baby; it would be a new dish at IHOP, the Family Pancake. Mr. Hamster Dick believes his life is more important than everyone sharing the road with him. While I understand the need to survive, I don’t understand the running-over of someone else.
When a Hummer rumbles the ground in the presence of those who are reasonable, they should take it upon themselves to show their displeasure because Sir Soft Schlong has his middle finger in the erect position, even if both hands are on the wheel. I give the evil eye, one as fearsome as their mothers and grandmothers gave them, and couple it with the fully extended, unbent, unwavering, little penis salute: a raised middle finger. Most look away in shame, fully aware my statement has captured their true essence; a self important ignoramus who needs to physically tower over people while displaying their wealth in an ostentatious showing of overall insecurity possible by a gasoline powered vehicle.
http://www.fueleconomy.gov/Feg/bymake/Hummer2008.shtml
Photo Credit: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/113/303964020_f1107661c7.jpg?v=0
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Movie Theater Etiquette: Who Will Save Us from Movie Jerks?
I am a frequent visitor of the celluloid light show. I, and every other person in the theater, pay for the experience of going to the movies. The smell of popcorn, the dark theater, sticky floors, the gasps and laughter of a hundred other people sharing those cinematic moments with you are all aspects of the movie going experience, more importantly, they are what we pay for when we see a movie.
The truth has become unavoidable; other people don’t give a crap about your movie experience. I am disturbed by a trend I like to call the “living rooming” of movie theaters. Morons and jackasses treating the movie theater as if we are all visiting them in their home. This is not just dumb teenagers but the entitled 45 year old bastards whose text message or call to the boss cannot wait until the closing credits roll.
A typical suburban movie theater that has about one hundred seats and in each of those seats is a person spent about ten dollars on a ticket. The total value of the seats in the theater is about $10,000. When someone uses a theater as their living room, they believe we should spend $10,000 collectively to listen to them talk and watch them text. I for one don’t find these jack asses worth $10,000.
It is because people have forgotten how to behave while at the movies that I have written basic rules for movie theater etiquette and suggesting punishments to be doled out by other theater goers in the event of an infraction.
Infraction - Foot Tapping: Foot tapping is a minor offence, usually done by someone who doesn’t know they are doing it.
Punishment - Could You Please: This unintentional action usually only requires you to ask politely the person to stop.
If they refuse to stop, remove their shoe and throw it across the theater. Be careful to avoid innocent bystanders or you become a menace. Be sure to use a sleeper hold in the beginning to avoid much noise or injury.
Infraction - Seat Kicking: Kicking a seat is usually unintentional so if it happens once, it’s no big deal, don’t worry about it. If it happens repeatedly, it is someone being inconsiderate of their effect on the kickee.
Punishment – Hey, You’re Kicking My Head: Quickly and without warning, shove yourself against your seat and into their foot. This usually sends the message and no words are needed.
When a back shove does not rectify the problem, turn in your seat and face the offender and make sure to make eye contact. Tell them politely that they are ramming their foot into your head and ask them to be more careful.
If it happens again, they are trying to kick you in the head and you should treat it like they are trying to harm your brain. Grab them by the foot and swing them above the head to simulate a helicopter. When you up to sufficient speed, and have caused them to vomit on their own faces, release the person away from anyone else in the theater, hopefully toward a wall. Once gravity has taken effect and the person is on the floor, kick them, one time, in the head. Return to your seat.
Infraction – Talking Through the Movie: I will never understand why some people believe we all want to hear their commentary of the movie. I want to hear them talk like I want a thorn in my eye or a sexless marriage. I suspect most people have the same feeling. This crime is most common amongst the middle aged soccer moms who only get to see a movie once in a while or the ever annoying know it middle aged man. Even though everyone else in the theater would disagree, they believe they are entitled to give us their opinion of the movie, while the movie is still playing. I’m not talking about the whisper for clarification or the softly spoken opinion to their date. I am talking about the loud whisper or back of the throat talk that can be heard for five aisles and twenty seats across. There is absolutely no reason for this behavior. If you are too stupid to follow the movie, don’t come. If you believe your self-important recap of the last scene is necessary for us to understand what is going on, let me be the one to tell you what your mother should have drilled in; during a movie in a theater, the only impression that matters is the one the director, actors and other film makers have painstakingly created for our enjoyment. I would not pay the tax of three snowflakes for wayward opinion and I don’t want it when we’ve paid $10,000 of our well earned money to be entertained.
Suggested Punishment – Shh, Hey, Shut the Hell up: When you are faced with a talker, shame them. It is important to understand that eye contact, even in a movie theater is the best way to get the message across that you are talking to that person specifically, and leaves no ambiguity as to who is the offender. So in each of the three steps, eye contact in which you turn your body to face the offender is extremely important.
The first step is to give the classic “Shh” with eye contact! While hissing is unattractive, it is a necessary evil to end the distraction of their blather and regain suspension of disbelief. This will let the person know that ten dollars is worth more than their commentary and the party is over.
This is very effective because most of the time people don’t realize they are chatting as much as they are or talking loudly.
The second step is to look at them, turn around in your seat if necessary and give a muffled but reasonably assertive “Hey!” Then hold your gaze for an uncomfortable length and look mad. When you have their attention tell them, in no uncertain terms “Stop Talking” but more quietly than the “Hey.” Hold the stare for a couple more seconds and then sit down with no more interaction.
This is scary to most people, who do not like confrontation. They will sit scared or they will require step three.
The third step is to get up, walk over to their seat, if there is no one near them and tell them “Shut the Hell Up.” You can replace Hell with Fuck if the occasion requires. If it gets to that point, they are bothering other people in the theater and people will be grateful that you stood up to them.
If a stern talking to isn’t enough, take a handful of popcorn and shove it in their mouth. While they chew that off, remove your sock and shoe laces and make a homemade gag. The sock should be completely their mouth and the lace around their head to prevent the sock from coming out. Use the other lace to tie their hands behind their back. Shove them off their seat and roll them under the row of seats. Make sure to “accidently” pour soda on the floor near them. Let the theater employees pick them up when they clean up after the movie.
Infraction – Using a Cell Phone During the Movie: Unless a doctor, a secret agent or a spouse to wife is two seconds from popping out a baby, there is no reason for having a cell phone on. Trust me, that text message can wait two hours, the phone call from someone’s mother can be returned once you leave the theater.
If you are one of those important people who has to leave their phone on there is absolutely no reason to answer the phone in a theater or to have the phone set to ringer. Get up and leave the theater to answer the phone. It is impossible to follow the movie when on the phone and it distracts everyone in the theater when you talk on the phone.
When someone turns their cell phone on during a movie it completely distracts everyone next to and behind them because it is like pointing a flashlight directly in their eyes in the dark.
Punishment – PHONE!: There is no reason to be tolerant, even a little, of this behavior. If someone is close to you and answers their phone, tell them in the most forceful tone you can muster at a low volume to “Shut the fucking phone off.” Make sure to turn your body around to face them and make eye contact.
If they ignore you, throw popcorn at them and repeat. You may also use soft candies, such as sour patch kids and dots. If you suck on them for a second or give them a little chew, they will stick in the person’s hair or on their skin.
If they do not stop it is acceptable to take their phone off their head and drop it in their soda. Then take the soda and dump it on their head. Quickly dump popcorn and any other candies or food directly on their person. If lickerish is available, use it to slap the offender across the face over and over again.
If the person is across the theater from you, it is acceptable to yell “PHONE” quickly so they can hear you. Usually other people in the theater will join in.
If this does not work go down to the person and speak with them directly. Tell them how many rows back you are and how they are distracting you. This usually shocks people into submission.
Special Juvenile Offenders Punishment – I’m Going to Tell Your Mother: If the offenders happen to be children or young teenagers, position yourself right behind them or if there is an open spot next to them sit there. When they flip their phone, tell them to shut it. This technique usually works.
If you are amongst a more defiant bunch, tell them you will follow them out of the theater and tell the person who is picking them up, usually their mother or father, about their behavior. Let them know you are serious by holding a stare for a couple of seconds. I have never had to follow a kid out because there is nothing scarier than being grounded with the added bonus of being humiliated in front of your friends.
If you are unwilling to pay for a new phone for the offender or for their dry cleaning or to tattle to someone’s mother, go out and complain to anyone who works at the theater and tell them you want them ejected, even if the theater person does not see them on the phone. Push it with them and have the person removed.
Whenever you witness an infraction, complain to the manager of the theater and demand your money back from the theater and demand that person is ejected from the theater. Managers and owners of the theater are responsible for the experience they are selling you and if you have to be the hall monitor, you aren’t getting what you’ve paid for. If you can get it, you should also demand extra tickets.
Movie theater owners have not had the reason to have monitor in the theaters, so they have not improved the experience for us. Most people affected by rudeness do not complain and get a refund or just annoy the manager. Theater owners know about the problems, are fully aware of the disruption caused by these inconsiderate knuckle heads but because most people keep their mouths shut, because they do not complain to the manager because no one has had to shell out refunds proportional to the number of people affected, there is no reason for the theaters to improve. Give them a reason to change; be the squeaky wheel.
Ladies Room Etiquette: Bring the Glamour Back
I have no public bathroom fears but lately I am disgusted by what women’s bathrooms have turned into. When did women become as disgusting as men when it comes to the loo? Keeping the bathroom clean isn’t challenging or hard. Yet, it has become a lost art of the girls’ room.
It is not unusual for me to be ready to pee, as I have a tiny little bladder, and have to go from stall to stall avoiding someone else’s urine or broken down fecal matter. The toilets are often filled to the brim with toilet paper unraveled and left to decompose in the toilet.
I remember when going into the girls room meant couches and lots of lights. Women discussing things like their dates or the movie they just saw, while putting on their makeup and sometimes when they were going pee. Now it is a raucous free-for-all with no couches or common sense and I feel the need to waive my fingers at the women who have forgotten good bathroom etiquette.
Here are the ten rules of conduct that must be followed by all women for us to get our Ladies Room back.
Flush: Is it too much to ask a souvenir of the trip by the last person not be left in the toilet? If fear of germs on the handle is a concern, listen to my words, grow up! When determined to be a feeble minded moron, use a foot to flush the toilet. Using a foot will insure that no evil germies get on the hand.
Clean Up Your Tinkle: If an accidental drip splashes anywhere other than inside the bowl, wipe it up. Please don’t leave me to clean the seat when I’m about to burst at the seams. Blood, pee and poo are all disgusting to clean up, so just do it when it is moist and easily comes off.
Leave the Toilet Working: Do not dump a pad, tampon or the entire industrial roll of toilet paper into the bowl and make it impossible to use and requires a plumber to come out and fix. It isn’t harmless fun, damages the toilet, the plumbing and hurts those women who really need to relieve themselves.
Wrap Your Pads and Tampons: Under no condition throw unwrapped pad into the garbage, unless the finished seat covers and toilet paper are gone. The next girl who has to reach into the garbage to throw away her waste doesn’t want to palm rogue menstruation.
Pass the Toilet Paper: If when walking through the bathroom and a woman asks for toilet paper, take the time to find her some and pass it over. To ignore such a plea is a heartless act indeed.
It Stinks in Here: Yes it stinks in the bathroom, no reason to say it out loud. The person may be sitting, trying to finish up her bowel movement. She does not need to feel as if she is offending her bathroom mates because they are too idiotic to understand poop belongs in a toilet.
18 Paper Towels are not Necessary: There is no reason for any person to use 18 paper towels to dry their hands. Contrary to popular belief, one paper towel is adequate to dry both hands if done properly. If one is not enough, two will be adequate. After two paper towels you are just making a mess, increasing the cost for everyone, not caring for our environment and being wasteful.
In the Garbage, Not Near the Garbage: We all play bathroom basketball from time to time and we all miss a shot. When a shot is missed, it is the responsibility of the shooter to pick it up and slam dunk it into the can.
Personal Space in Line: It is just downright rude when in line to invade the personal space of another woman. She will move as soon as she is able, so back off. If bathroom is small or the entry is small, don’t cram in the doorway. If people can’t get out, it is not possible to get in, and the people crowding the door are just screwing themselves out of the opportunity to pee.
Don’t Stand at the Sink: If a woman has just left the toilet, allow her to use the sink. If a freshen-up is necessary, stand to the side or behind her while she washes her hands and then return to your spot. Hand washing usually only takes a minute or two, it can wait.
None of these rules are major inconveniences to the person following them and none are useless. Give the other women who have to share the bathroom a break and be ladylike, at least in the bathroom.
http://www.uiowa.edu/~shcvoice/images/ladies-room.gif
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/tzu/lowres/tzun7l.jpg
http://www.kleinman.tv/sys-tmpl/nss-folder/pictures/LadiesRoom.jpg
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