Nearly Hosed to Death

A year ago today, at about this time,  I had hypothermia,  and was drenched in pepper spray and tear gas.  I could barely take a breath.

I had been nearly killed at Standing Rock on the 15th by a police shooting. In the days after I took a mental health break because I was struggling.

I heard about what was happening on the bridge while having dinner with a medic and a frontliner.  Police were using hoses in subfreezing weather behind five feet of baracade.

I yelled at the medic for not doing her job but I knew I was pissed at myself. I needed to work.

I put on my layers, six on top, three on bottom, and I headed for the bridge.

It was not long after I arrived that the police hosed me down on 20 degree weather, then sprayed me with chemical weapons not allowed on the battlefield.

Someone had to direct me out because I could not see.  That person took my glasses for safe keeping. 

I was put on a medical transporttruck,  laying like lumber on the covered bed.   A man got in with me and screamed to the drivers to go faster because I was not breathing right.

He, a man much younger than I,  started to shake me,  screaming "Auntie, Auntie. Breathe Auntie. "

Before I knew it,  I was pulled out of the truck,  and people were ripping off my clothes, to control the hypothermia. I was drenched to my underwear.

My face was burning and my lungs were on fire. I was not getting enough air.

A young man tried to help by gently pouring water on my face,  a drop at time.  I grabbed the bottle and squeezed it onto my face.  I yelled for more.  The man apologized.  I told him to shut up and get me more water.  He did. Bottle after bottle went down my face,  dilluting the pepperspray and tear gas,  sending it running down my breasts.

Quickly another man came by with soap and warm water.  He gently rubbed my face to soap it.  I snatched the rag from him with all the grace of a viper bite.  I rubbed it on my face and breasts to get the burning off, dipping it into the little bowl of soapy water he brought for the job.

The burning on my face stopped but my lungs did not.  The medic said it would get better with time. 

They re-dressed me,  handed me a bag of my wet clothes, and sent me out of the medic area.  Hundreds of people needed treatment and that was all the time they had foe me.

I had a tiny sweater and sweat pants on,  not enough to keep warm.

I wandered to the Sacred Fire and sat by the fire.  I don't know what happened between the time I sat down and when A.G.E. (one of the firekeepers) came over and stuck his face in my face to get my attention.  I was shivering and did not realize it.  I had a thousand yard stare. 

He grabbed me and gave me his gloves. He dragged me to a warmer fire, took my wet socks off,  and put a hot drink in my hand, then he ran into the snowy dark.

He came back a few minutes later with a pair of pants, socks,  gloves,  a coat, hat, and huge purple comforter blanket.

He took his gloves off my hand and put the new ones on.  He put the jacket on me.  Then,  he knelt down to my feet and replaced my socks. He wrapped me in blanket.

I do not think I could communicate in that moment. I just looked at him.

Another fire keeper, F.M. could see I was still too cold and ran into one of the supply tents with a chair and secured me a spot near the wooden stove.  It was so warm,  I could feel the terror melt away.

It took me two days to get my glasses back.  I still cannot watch the footage.

I probably would have frozen to death if it were not for the firekeepers, medics and helpers that night.  I was so messed up,  I could not register the cold.

Eventually I had to get medical treatment for the pepperspray at a hospital.  I had breathed it in and was only breathing at 35-40%.

Thank you to the heros who saw me and helped when I had no way of asking for myself.