He Created Three Ophans When He Murdered His Wife and Killed Himself and the Community Defended Him

A man well known in a community if which I am a member killed his wife after she served him with divorce papers. Then he killed himself,  orphaning his three children.

This sort of selfish, entitled, behavior is nothing new. However, I have been disgusted by the number of people demanding compassion for the murderer, expressing regretful dismay at his death, and imploring us to consider consider his depression. 

No.

From what we know, he murdered his wife because he she dared to think she was not his object and had the right to leave the marriage if she wanted.

Women are at very high risk of murder in the year after they leave their husband or partner. And rarely do men go from zero abuse to murder.

We should spend our time and worry on those kids, on the families left behind (even his), and call attention to the fact that women are most likely to be murdered by their partners and that is totally unacceptable - even if he is depressed.

The Perplexing Defense of Al Franken

My dismay grows ever deeper when I hear the defenses of Al Franken. They all really boil down to the same thing - she did some kind of sex work, so she is not credible but even if it is true, a worthless woman like her should not be able to bring a valuable man like him down.

I have even seen grown adults saying that because she did nude modeling, she cannot feel emotional effects of sexual assault or sexual harassment – so she is exaggerating her claims of distress.
Even more boggling is the argument that this is a Republican hit job. 

Sex workers get raped, sexually assaulted, and suffer all manner of sexual abuses. Selling sex, or sexual fantasy does not relinquish your right to consenting to sexual activity. It does not make you immune to the effects of sexual violence and abuse.

Franken admitted to the incidents, and there are pictures of the incidents. If he says it happened, and there are pictures that it happened, her credibility should not be the issue but it is still.

Her credibility is so bad, her negative actually outweighs Franken's positive credibility? That no matter what she says, no matter how it is confirmed, the fact that she said it means it is not true?
Credibility, the likelihood that she is telling the truth, is not what it is about. Credibility is being used as a placeholder term for value.

Sexual chastity is so closely tied to a woman's value that if she dares to have a sexual identity or worse - use it to get money - she is considered fair game for abuse.

We can know she is honest and truthful but our society values her so little that no act is bad enough that a man should be punished for it.

The police and prosecutors actually have a term for it, NHI. NHI stands for No Humans Involved. It is an informal category of crimes which fall to the lowest priority and often are not investigated at all. NHI crimes include crimes against prostitutes, sex workers, drug addicts, drug dealers, and police informants.

While the term NHI may be falling out of use, the category still exists. Serial killers target prostitutes at such a high rate because no one cares to investigate.

As for hit being a hit job - he admitted to it. He did it. So the question is even if the Republicans brought her forward, how does that absolve him of his responsibility?

Nearly Hosed to Death

A year ago today, at about this time,  I had hypothermia,  and was drenched in pepper spray and tear gas.  I could barely take a breath.

I had been nearly killed at Standing Rock on the 15th by a police shooting. In the days after I took a mental health break because I was struggling.

I heard about what was happening on the bridge while having dinner with a medic and a frontliner.  Police were using hoses in subfreezing weather behind five feet of baracade.

I yelled at the medic for not doing her job but I knew I was pissed at myself. I needed to work.

I put on my layers, six on top, three on bottom, and I headed for the bridge.

It was not long after I arrived that the police hosed me down on 20 degree weather, then sprayed me with chemical weapons not allowed on the battlefield.

Someone had to direct me out because I could not see.  That person took my glasses for safe keeping. 

I was put on a medical transporttruck,  laying like lumber on the covered bed.   A man got in with me and screamed to the drivers to go faster because I was not breathing right.

He, a man much younger than I,  started to shake me,  screaming "Auntie, Auntie. Breathe Auntie. "

Before I knew it,  I was pulled out of the truck,  and people were ripping off my clothes, to control the hypothermia. I was drenched to my underwear.

My face was burning and my lungs were on fire. I was not getting enough air.

A young man tried to help by gently pouring water on my face,  a drop at time.  I grabbed the bottle and squeezed it onto my face.  I yelled for more.  The man apologized.  I told him to shut up and get me more water.  He did. Bottle after bottle went down my face,  dilluting the pepperspray and tear gas,  sending it running down my breasts.

Quickly another man came by with soap and warm water.  He gently rubbed my face to soap it.  I snatched the rag from him with all the grace of a viper bite.  I rubbed it on my face and breasts to get the burning off, dipping it into the little bowl of soapy water he brought for the job.

The burning on my face stopped but my lungs did not.  The medic said it would get better with time. 

They re-dressed me,  handed me a bag of my wet clothes, and sent me out of the medic area.  Hundreds of people needed treatment and that was all the time they had foe me.

I had a tiny sweater and sweat pants on,  not enough to keep warm.

I wandered to the Sacred Fire and sat by the fire.  I don't know what happened between the time I sat down and when A.G.E. (one of the firekeepers) came over and stuck his face in my face to get my attention.  I was shivering and did not realize it.  I had a thousand yard stare. 

He grabbed me and gave me his gloves. He dragged me to a warmer fire, took my wet socks off,  and put a hot drink in my hand, then he ran into the snowy dark.

He came back a few minutes later with a pair of pants, socks,  gloves,  a coat, hat, and huge purple comforter blanket.

He took his gloves off my hand and put the new ones on.  He put the jacket on me.  Then,  he knelt down to my feet and replaced my socks. He wrapped me in blanket.

I do not think I could communicate in that moment. I just looked at him.

Another fire keeper, F.M. could see I was still too cold and ran into one of the supply tents with a chair and secured me a spot near the wooden stove.  It was so warm,  I could feel the terror melt away.

It took me two days to get my glasses back.  I still cannot watch the footage.

I probably would have frozen to death if it were not for the firekeepers, medics and helpers that night.  I was so messed up,  I could not register the cold.

Eventually I had to get medical treatment for the pepperspray at a hospital.  I had breathed it in and was only breathing at 35-40%.

Thank you to the heros who saw me and helped when I had no way of asking for myself.

Roy Moore Abuses

One of the arguments used against the women who are coming forward against Roy Moore is,  "Why now?! "

Is it really so hard to understand why women who were subjected to sexual abuse by a man wielding his power as  DA might not want their abuser to gain more power?