My Birthday Wish: Be Noble

Every year when my birthday rolls around, someone asks what I want for my birthday. I am notoriously hard to shop for, because I do not value things, I value action. When my birthday swings back again,  like every year, no one knows what to give me, but I know what to ask for: Be Noble.

I am a writer and a small business owner, but my avocation and heart is in advocacy. I advocate for abused people. I try speak for the people that no one likes to talk about. The stuff that can bring you to tears just thinking of it. No one pays me, I do not belong to Advocates-R-Us. I am insulted, called names, besmirched, and degraded by people who are not willing to fix problems, but agree that problems exist. When my advocacy comes up at dinner parties or social functions, people say things like “thank you for doing that”, “you are so noble” and “you are so great” before they unceremoniously change the subject – too uncomfortable to think for even a few minutes that people are being raped, beaten, humiliated and degraded in their neighborhood. In some cases, their tax monies are paying people to abuse children. The loneliness and heartache can pile up as failures stack in front of me and I stand alone, insulted and too uncomfortable to discuss. I am not telling you this to brag or gain some recognition or pity. I tell you so you understand what it is like to be an advocate in areas people hate discussing and so you understand my birthday wish.

In economic terms, buying me a gift for X dollars requires X minutes of work – that's it. This year, instead of spending X dollars, I ask that you spend X minutes of work and do something, anything noble. Write a letter about a piece of legislation you agree or disagree with, write an email to a foundation who is behaving badly, clean up garbage in your neighborhood, fix a pothole, give food to the hungry, mow the neighbor's lawn, volunteer at an animal shelter, but please – do something that betters the planet.

Nothing would warm my heart more than if, instead of taking on something fun, take on something that really pains you to think about, something that stings your well-being. A non-profit that looks into animal abuse is sad, but those people need extra support and other people to look their challenges in the face with them. Stop looking at those people like they are a better class of person than you, a magical one-in-a-million genetic freak who is specially gifted by their alleles with strength or with ultra-honed senses of what is ethical, or moral. That makes their actions seem impossible for normal people and takes away the duty of average folks to be noble, like a 5'4 woman is not expected to do a slam dunk. That simply is not the case. Doing hard things, even if you might fail, because they are the right thing is a choice that is open to all of us.

Now you are thinking, all right – if that's what you want for your birthday, I'll do it, but I do not know where to start or what to do. That's ok, I have an idea. You can help abused children stay safe by sending one email. Tell decision-makers that you are no longer interested in funding a facility with over two decades of abuse reports.

No matter what you do to celebrate my birthday, make it good; not in the feeling way but in the moral way. Be Noble.

That will make my birthday truly happy.